62 Comments
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S M Garratt's avatar

I'd love to be part of a table read for the radio version of this twisted piece of near-futurism. A lot of thought has gone into the corporate self-justification and tone of the bloody awful people on this call. Read like a black-mirror script that even Netflix might have baulked at... love it as always Andy...

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you very much 🙏

I'd love to make that happen. If I can make some moves on Substack I'd love to branch into other media projects — like radio plays.

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S M Garratt's avatar

Don’t wait for permission - you got the skills in audio… what are you waiting for?

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Andy Futuro's avatar

🤔 You are right. I must ponder this.

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S M Garratt's avatar

Very happy to help… 25 years of screenwriting and video directing at your disposal.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

🙏

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Tom Schecter's avatar

Oh fuck yeah count me in to play one or two characters.

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S M Garratt's avatar

I was born to be a corporate whore!

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Vinny Reads's avatar

I present in meetings like this all the time, uh, would love to be involved.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

🙏

I’ll notify recruitment.

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M.P. Fitzgerald's avatar

You know, there's a point in reading your stuff that I get to something absolutely horrible, like the mold, and I'm like, "Naw, this isn't it, he's gonna go harder and I am scared for it," because what is considered someone else "turning it up to eleven" is really just a six for you.

Then the turn with babbies as livestock happened.

My god, Futuro! This was fucking excellent satire. I've been really enjoying all your dialogue pieces. Spectacular stuff!

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you very much, M.P. 🙏

I appreciate it.

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Miep's avatar

Lichens on their genitalia now I have new things to worry about, thanks Andy

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Andy Futuro's avatar

🙏

Sorry.

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Miep's avatar

Nicely done, this one 😂

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you. I read a lot of conference call transcripts. This story barely competes with reality.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

I read the whole thing with a nice grin on my face and periodic laughter.

I don't know whether to call this disturbingly superb or superbly disturbing. Or both. Either way, it's actually terrifyingly realistic. These corporate sociopaths really do operate exactly like that and I'd say every mechanism they suggest in this conference call has already been proffered in a hundred real-world conference calls. Especially how they deal with the media, with influencers and manufactured conspiracy theories and nefarious associations with Langley and politicians.

And you got a certain island in there too. Perfect.

The writing is especially good with the interjections, so it sounds just like it would with people talking.

Exceptional piece of writing this. Loved it. Deliciously dystopian.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you very much 🙏

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Jessica Maison's avatar

Captured those evil corporate monsters really well. Made Soylent Green look like a walk in the park.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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William Pauley III's avatar

Corporate horror is the scariest horror. Hilarious and unsettling. Really enjoyed this, Andy!

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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Nick Winney's avatar

big and beastly right?

you've got the corporate speak absolutely nailed...yet another boundary broken andy... coming to expect nothing less than godlike genius from you...can't u just put out one little lame story now and again? hmmm? 😆😆

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Andy Futuro's avatar

🙏

I'm flattered, Nick.

According to Goodreads, I've put out quite a few lame stories. 😂

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Nick Winney's avatar

not in my opinion!

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Ashley T.K.'s avatar

So glad I had some time to dig into this one. Very 'Tender Is The Flesh.' I could hear the crackle of each voice in the zoom call

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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Garen Marie's avatar

Ooooooh shit. I thought I was prepared but then I absolutely wasn't. I think it was the suggestion to call them Cow Girl Burgers that got me. Clever and disgusting all in one! Thanks for bringing your evil genius to the Small and Scary / Big and Beastly project.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Haha, thank you 🙏

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Jared Lambert's avatar

Another great one!

My fav bit was how they kept joking about Tom.

It took the evil of these characters to the next level. Sure, there’s the standard evil from greed here, but the fact that they know about Tom’s monstrous sexual activities and are cool with it gives them a well rounded 100% evil quality

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you very much 🙏

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Saint-Lazare's avatar

So... i made the mistake to read this with an empty stomach, big mistake. The genius of it? It's totally credible, and the Devil really hides in the details. Bravo!

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

Oh. My. God. This is so disgusting and horrible—I loved it! The thing that makes it so utterly horrifying is the realism. Jeez, this could happen/could be happening! The corporate slugs in the story are so hair-raisingly REAL! Fantastic story.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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Keith Long's avatar

Oh god this is excellently disturbing in Future fashion

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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Eren Harris's avatar

Terrifying as fuck.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

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Allen Kwon's avatar

What makes horror land so close to satire? The worst part is how believable all this sounds. Not in the science—but in the structure. The boardroom. The laughter.

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Thank you 🙏

I too am fascinated by that question.

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Elizabeth Lamont's avatar

Table-read for radio version: sign me up!

How could I have lived as long as I have and not noticed until reading this story that slaughter is laughter with an ssss

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Awesome, thank you 🙏

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