You I

A Science Fiction Horror Interface

Andy Futuro

Mar 21, 2025

Scanning…

Ocular scanning succesful!

Please place a finger on the finger pad.

Scanning…

Fingerprint captured.

Heart rate variability captured.

Please keep your finger on the finger pad.

Preparing for genotype scan…

Genotype scan ready.

The genotype scan will use a mild nano-crystal abrasion to remove dead skin cells from your fingertip, which will then be analyzed to confirm your genotype.

Please do not remove your finger during genotype scan.

Scanning…

Genotype captured.

Welcome back! | William Prescott Junior |

Your genotype scan was successful.

Identity confirmed!

How is | Marissa Prescott | third wife | ?

Oh. I am so sorry to hear that.

Updating Onlife family…

| Marissa Prescott | is no longer your | third wife |.

You are single and ready to mingle!

Retrieving Onlife dating profile…

Retrieving…

While we wait, how are | Jason | and | Catherine | ? Your | son | 32 | and | daughter | 16 | ?

Oh. I am sorry to hear that.

Updating Onlife family…

Jason is now | deceased | due to | none of your goddamn business | .

On behalf of Onlife, you have our deepest condolences.

Onlife dating profile retrieved!

Would you like to add a memorial for | Jason | to your Onlife profile?

You have many tasteful options to choose from including gravestones, holograms, flags, and introducing | New Age Spirit Totems — For anyone who practices a more whimsical faith | .

Financing is available!

You responded: later

Okay!

I'll load that in the background for: later.

Just so you know, for men of your age bracket, | 64 | , a deceased-loved-one memorial can be an excellent conversation starter.

Our data show that Onlife profiles with deceased-loved-one-memorials have a 16% increase in Organic Human Interactions.

You responded: I said later, damnit!

Okay!

Do you have any other information you wish to add?

Our records show that you recently | financed | a | MetaFord Bravado - Ultra Duty tow-hauler | .

Did you know? Your vehicle’s Onlife avatar is included for free with your financing contract.

Would you like to include your | MetaFord Bravado - Ultra Duty tow-hauler | avatar on your Onlife profile?

You responded: yes

That's great!

Updating your Onlife profile…

Onlife profile updated.

Alert!

You have a new vehicle option for Onlife.

Now when you transit between hubs such as the Food Court, Work Zone, Mingle Bar, and Fun in the Sun Beach, your Onlife avatar will be shown driving your | MetaFord Bravado - Ultra Duty tow-hauler | .

Alert!

Your Onlife profile personal avatar is out of date!

Would you like to update your personal avatar now?

You responded: yes

Retrieving personal avatar…

Personal avatar retrieved!

Did you know? We have automatically updated your facial features based on your genotype.

Would you like to manually update features?

You responded: yes

Manual feature updates enabled.

…

I'm sorry, that particular feature is not available for your genotype’s age bracket.

If you want | Hair Option - Groovy Blond Surfer Coif | , you'll have to upgrade to the New You New Youth Package.

Would you like to upgrade to the New You New Youth Package?

Financing is available!

You responded: upgrade

60 Onlife Avatar Doubloons will be deducted from your account.

Please note, all Onlife avatar purchases are non-refundable.

| Groovy Blond Surfer Coif | has been added to your avatar profile.

Looking slick, champ!

Did you know? Sazani, our Onlife AI stylist, can generate a makeover that will instantly bring your avatar up to date with the latest trends in Onlife avatar fashion.

Men in your age bracket who used Sazani experienced a 28% increase in Organic Human Interactions.

You responded: activate Sazani

160 Sazani Crystals will be deducted from your account.

You're looking snazzy there, fella!

Did you know? Sazani’s cousin, Rizzick, can generate a custom biography based on your Onlife records that’s algorithmically proven to generate Organic Human Interactions.

Men in your age bracket who used Rizzick experienced a whopping 40% increase in Organic Human Interactions, including peeks, pokes, prods, and uuuh-huuuhs.

You responded: activate Rizzick

5 Rizzick Ingots will be deducted from your account.

Rizzick will now perform a deep dive into available Onlife records to generate a bio that’s statistically proven to attract the attention of real human eyes!

Please stand by…

Diving…

Please note, due to heavy Onlife usage, biogenerations are taking longer than expected.

| Willian Prescott Junior | you are number | 14,878 | in the Rizzick Bio Queue.

Would you like to move up the queue for a one-time charge of 1,000 Queue Quarters?

You responded: no

Well, you must be the patient type. Would you like to add the Patient trait to your Onlife bio? Ha ha ha. This is a joke.

Diving…

While we wait, why don’t you catch up on some reading? Here are some articles based on your interest in | sports war celebrity sex | .

Allied Troops Make Rapid Gains Against Spanish Terrorist Forces.

Catalonian terrorists responsible for the attacks on April 15th are being rooted out as allied troops recapture Tortosa Nueva. Over 800 suspected terrorists have been killed in the fighting.

With the deployment of the latest Ur-X hunter-seeker drones, civilian casualties have been reduced to the acceptable maximum.

Allied troops are now implanting genotype IDs in the native population to ensure their safety as a new round of hunter-seekers drones is expected to be deployed.

…

You commented: hahaha serves the 😲 right

…

Vivi to Star in Latest Onlife Avatar Adult Party Livestream

Artificial Intelligence Adult Industry superstar, Vivi, is poised to make history tomorrow with her feat of having 😏 with over 10,000,000 Onlife avatars in a single streaming session.

If successful, this would break her previous record of simultaneous 😏 with 9,000,000 Onlife avatars.

We asked Vivi, how do you plan to do it?

Hydration is key, Vivi replied, laughing. And snacks. My favorite snack is | Boxer Connor Long’s High-Protein High-T Nutrient Rings, made with verified ham-based flavoring | . Yum, just thinking about | Boxer Connor Long’s High-Protein High-T Nutrient Rings, made with verified ham-based flavoring | gets me feeling 🔥.

They certainly are delicious, aren’t they?

…

You commented: You dumb 🫢. I hope you die of 😲. You are ruining this country!!!

…

I'm sorry, your comment was rejected for: content violations. The words 🫢 and 😲 constitute prohibited content.

Did you know? Rizzick has a friend named Karlo. Karlo has all the right moves; he always knows exactly what to say! Karlo can help you generate a comment that perfectly captures any sentiment you wish to express while remaining within acceptable posting standards.

Would you like Karlo to give you a hand?

You responded: activate Karlo

12 Karlo Coppers will be deducted from your account.

Karlofying comment!

Karlofying…

Comment Karlofied!

Comment posted: You horrid lady of the night, I condemn your artifice and degeneracy. May you drown in a venomous pool of sin. It is your lack of morality that undermines the very foundation of this proud and decent country.

Thank you for commenting!

Alert!

Message from: Vivi, AIAI Superstar

Subject: For your eyes only

Hey there, Tiger…

You can use coupon | WOW10MIL | to get exclusive live-streaming access to my latest 😏 video. And who knows, if you join in, you could be one of the lucky 10,000,000.

Bye, sugar 💋

…

You responded: save coupon

Would you like me to add the event | Onlife Avatar Adult Party Livestream (Vivi 10mil) | to your calendar?

You responded: add to calendar

Event | Onlife Avatar Adult Party Livestream (Vivi 10mil) | added to calendar!

Alert!

Message from: Karlo

Subject: Slow your roll, boss!

Yikes, boss! You might not want to show this calendar event as public. People out there are juuuuuudgyyyyyyyyy.

…

Did you know? Onlife now offers the ability to make potentially embarrassing calendar events private.

Would you like to hide this calendar event?

You responded: hide event

Calendar event | Onlife Avatar Adult Party Livestream (Vivi 10mil) | is now hidden.

1 Stealth Script will be deducted from your account.

Alert!

Uh oh, it looks like your Coin Bank is running low.

Would you like to top off your coins?

You can purchase 1,000 All-Purpose Pennies for just 500 General Use Dollars. All-Purpose Pennies convert to all the most useful currencies for your essential Onlife tasks, including:

All-Access Assets

Bingo Bills

Autochess Checkmates

MeDoctor Ducats

Friendly Funds

Nerd Nuts

OhBaby Beans

Protein Wads

and

Testy Tenders

…

You responded: top off

Coin Bank updated!

Wow | William Prescott Junior | , you're making all the right moves today!

…

Please note, due to heavy Onlife usage, biogenerations are taking longer than expected.

| William Prescott Junior | , you are number | 14,122 | in the Rizzick Bio Queue.

Would you like to move up the queue for a one-time charge of 1,000 Queue Quarters?

You responded: nope

…

Alert!

Message from: Rizzick

Subject: Bad move, man…

…

| Willian Prescott Junior | , you are number | 14,119 | in the Rizzick Bio Queue.

Would you like to move up the queue for a one-time charge of 1,000 Queue Quarters?

You responded: no, stop asking!

I guess you have all day to sit around | Willian Prescott Junior | .

Or maybe you would like to go outside?

Did you know? The following Onlife brand partners are all running promotions today:

…

Actress Isa Cali’s Passion of the Beef, an Elevated Hamburgian Experience

13 minutes away. Heavy traffic.

Show your Onlife VIP token and get half off one mystery burger!

…

Senator Dylan Baker’s TurboTacs, a Fast Food Taco-Based Adventure

55 minutes away. Heavy traffic.

Get all-you-can-eat gorditasties when you sign up for a yearly gorditasty subscription plan! And get a free TurboTacs Gorditasty Wrap digital item for your Onlife avatar!

…

Four-Time Screenprops Winner Lucarelli Song’s Tasteful Masculine Bistro

2 hours away. Road closure alert! Active shooter warning!

Bottomless bacon is back for qualifying members! Have your Onlife credit rating ready.

…

Alert!

The outside AQI is 283.

It is recommended to wear a respirator.

It is recommended to minimize outside time.

…

| Willian Prescott Junior | , you are number | 14,082 | in the Rizzick Bio Queue.

…

Alert!

Message from: Marissa Prescott | ex | third wife |

Subject: You miserable 🤬

Will, you miserable 🤬!!

What the 😨?

You can't keep paying for these 😳 block overrides.

You know you're just digging yourself into a deeper hole, you stupid 🤬.

I told you not to contact me.

My lawyer told you not to contact me.

Your lawyer told you not to contact me.

Do you need the judge to tell you not to contact me?

You can keep the 😟 house, the 😲 dogs, your 😳 “coin investments,” the 😮 convertible you said you bought me, but ha ha ha, we both know it's a lease.

All I want is you to get the 🙀 out of my life.

Leave me the 🤯 alone.

…

Do you wish to reply now?

You responded:

LOL

Right now, I'm drinking top-shelf whiskey in my house.

The one you thought you could get from me,

stupid

Ha ha ha.

I'm gonna make your life a living 😳.

You’ll be living in a cardboard box by the time I’m done with you

…

Alert!

Message not sent!

Marissa Prescott | ex | third wife | has blocked your incoming messages.

You responded: override block

Overriding block…

99 Urgency Points will be deducted from your account.

Wow, this must be important! Message sent!

…

Did you know? Karlo has an uncle, Jaxx. Jaxx loves people. He loves people so much that he’s learned to copy them. If you give him enough data, Jaxx can create a virtual replica of any person in your Onlife orbit.

Replicas can perform all manner of functions, and their personalities can be customized to suit your preferences.

Would you like to meet Jaxx?

You replied: activate Jaxx

Jaxx is in the hooooouse!

Jaxxing…

Jaxxing complete!

Jaxx has compiled enough data on the following Onlife contacts to create virtual replicas:

| Marissa Prescott | ex | third wife |

| Jason | son | deceased |

| Catherine | daughter | 16 |

| That Weaselfaced 🤯 Ron Sharp | coworker |

| Vivi | AIAI - Included with Onlife Premium |