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Val Stuart's avatar

Just read this chapter. Cool vibe, fascinating world and natural-sounding information transfer as dialogue. Near-perfect pacing. Just when the reader’s eyes glaze over, the protagonist empathizes on queue and moves us to the next chunk. So skillful. Your hard work is noticed and appreciated! Plus: a creepy surprising twist at the end. Outstanding.

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Troy Church's avatar

I love this world you are unveiling to the reader. I find the Elzi fascinating and the twist with Friar was great. Saru's behaviour at the beginning confused me until it revealed what her stunt with Eugene gave her. Well done. A great story unfolding here.

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