Man… you’ve really got into a rich seam here… All the shit stuff of our times, mixed with hotchipped overclocked mal-tech and rinsed with the drain cleaner of dehumanisation and the corporate meatgrinder.
I like it a lot. And I love the two beautiful Italian-sounding female names you picked, even if they probably sound English to you. Lisa is such a sweet name.
Hahahahahahahaha "I’d rather be hoeing than weeding." Great story.
Though I've got some PTSD from the move I just made where my last landlord presented me with a $6500 estimate on the way out—actually his lawyer did, was a total ambush—to stucco and paint the walls. Apparently I had to leave the walls pristine according to the contract. I was dumb when I signed it. It was all in legal Italian and I didn't have a lawyer look at it. I was like "I'm sure it's standard."
In the end he generously agreed to keep my $3500 deposit and allow me to pay an extra $1100 on top of that. I fucking hate landlords.
Truly shedding a light on how imbalanced such power dynamics are. Something I also find interesting is how the agent mentions "this is standard" contract language. How many times have we heard that said to us when our natural instincts tell us something is wrong? How many times will that phrase be used to justify awful behavior and hide the fact that while codified, it is unjust? Well done satire.
Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I'm gonna move into a new apartment in six or so odd days? Well, we get the keys the 21st, if life doesn't fuck us. If life fucks us we get. You know, I've vented that spleen. Thank you for reminding me why I want to shoot landlords, while having recently signed a lease that was disturbing for being so close in some ways to this story.
You're basically turning into Black Mirror for Substack, but funnier, and I am here for it.
he's done it again... bile churning. hyperbole of dystopian orwellian futures just round the corner...
Thank you, Nick 🙏
Man… you’ve really got into a rich seam here… All the shit stuff of our times, mixed with hotchipped overclocked mal-tech and rinsed with the drain cleaner of dehumanisation and the corporate meatgrinder.
true horror. Well done again.
Thank you 🙏
It is not a heavy lift of the imagination.
exactly…this is what makes it so awful!
Non-fiction
🤣 🙏
lol
I thought you wrote horror fiction, not horror reality. Scary shit Andy!
Thank you 🙏
Reading this actually made me feel glad I'm old. Thanks for rendering this public service.
🤣🙏
Thank you for reading.
As a renter…. I hate this so much. But somehow I feel like people with a mortgage aren’t getting it any easier in this reality.
🙏
Not in this reality, no.
Ah, nothing fills me with rage quite like a dystopian future that seems plausible. ¡Excelente trabajo, Bravo!
Thank you 🙏
Bravo, Andy! Per usual it was a fantastic read.
Thank you 🙏
Creepy, freaky, scary, and it somehow manages to be entertaining. Yikes... like Miep said, I'm glad I'm old!
Thank you 🙏
I like it a lot. And I love the two beautiful Italian-sounding female names you picked, even if they probably sound English to you. Lisa is such a sweet name.
Thank you 🙏
Ripped from reality, I'm afraid.
A good choice!
Hahahahahahahaha "I’d rather be hoeing than weeding." Great story.
Though I've got some PTSD from the move I just made where my last landlord presented me with a $6500 estimate on the way out—actually his lawyer did, was a total ambush—to stucco and paint the walls. Apparently I had to leave the walls pristine according to the contract. I was dumb when I signed it. It was all in legal Italian and I didn't have a lawyer look at it. I was like "I'm sure it's standard."
In the end he generously agreed to keep my $3500 deposit and allow me to pay an extra $1100 on top of that. I fucking hate landlords.
Thank you 🙏
That's infuriating. 😡
Truly shedding a light on how imbalanced such power dynamics are. Something I also find interesting is how the agent mentions "this is standard" contract language. How many times have we heard that said to us when our natural instincts tell us something is wrong? How many times will that phrase be used to justify awful behavior and hide the fact that while codified, it is unjust? Well done satire.
Thank you very much 🙏
It is wild to me the rights we surrender in contracts all the time out of necessity.
Wow! Andy i am constantly unnerved by your stories. Great writing mate.
Thank you very much 🙏
Just coming back to this one to say that it is one of my favorite and INCREDIBLY sassy things you’ve written. Well done sir
Thank you 🙏
Woof… I love to hate your stuff.
🙏
Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I'm gonna move into a new apartment in six or so odd days? Well, we get the keys the 21st, if life doesn't fuck us. If life fucks us we get. You know, I've vented that spleen. Thank you for reminding me why I want to shoot landlords, while having recently signed a lease that was disturbing for being so close in some ways to this story.
You're basically turning into Black Mirror for Substack, but funnier, and I am here for it.
I'm also real fuckin' mad at my landlord.
Thank you 🙏
I hope the move goes well 🙏
https://youtu.be/MA3QWPXm9TU?si=1BGPhHeOYYUEjPRF
Banger
Thank you 🙏