Aw, I used to be married to a guy like Harold. Big mean baby with zero EQ. Poor Daphne, just horrors all around. The format made the whole thing very urgent feeling. I really liked it🖤
Halfway through this story, I poured myself a giant bowl of Fruity Pebbles. True story. Love that you thought outside of the box here! The script format was a fun, fresh take. 👏
You never disappoint, my friend. This was so damn good, and the comic format was a fresh way to set the visuals. The graphic novel played out in my mind's eye, and it was amazing. I was really impressed with how you wrote it—the format could have easily gotten in the way or felt clunky, but it was a brilliantly balanced mix of art direction and story. Superb, per usual.
The build up was slow, but worth it. By page 17, I was hooked. One thing I would do though. Her vote button should be activated. Then show a panel where the husband's vote button is not activated. As it turns out the husband swapped them so he could get rid of his wife, by not voting.
Then at the end, while she's just about to be executed, they drag the husband in, and he's screaming about how he didn't do it. But, voting for another person counts as election fraud. So he takes her place, and she goes free.
Also, I like where you were going with the ersatz food products. I want you to make them even more outrageous. Like you pull a string, and that activates an MRE heater, which puffs up the bag the meatloaf is in, and starts cooking it.
I also liked the cinematic feel of the story. The part where the two timers are eerily synchronized would make for a great shot. Using depth of field, you focus on the kitchen timer, making everything behind it blurry. Then adjust the focal point to the tv, which puts that into view and the rest becomes blurry. Follow that up with the money shot, and then move the focal point back to the table, with the timer, and the meatloaf bag which magically opens, violently releasing it's steam into the room.
I liked the way it was written. This style can also work for radio plays, something I've been itching to do.
This format was so fun to read in. I was able to picture everything, even with the "pop out" themes commonly associated with comics. Glad I found your work! Excited to read more!
Love that you played with the format! Hope someone takes you up on turning this into a graphic novel--that would be sick! Thanks for joining the event, Andy! Fun story!
Loved this world. Always wanted to write something like this format, but never had the courage. You've shown me it can be done. Wonderfully innovative.
WHAT THE FUCK!?! This was so amazing, I was on the EDGE of my seat, JFC ANDY. I need a sip of whiskey after this. This was juicy *chefs kiss* storytelling. Yeah. yeah. So good. Still on the edge. Loved it. Every. Single. Second.
Such an awesome idea for a story - to describe comic panels. I had this insane and rad image pop into my head for the one scene (three colors, red white black)- of a silhouetted man standing behind a chain link fence, one hand up with fingers through the chain links and then his tongue too - the tongue and finger tips blood red with drips.
Anyway, excellent story, it conjured some wild pictures
I’m confused — was that horror, comedy, or documentary?
I wish I knew myself. 🙏 Thank you for reading.
“Yes”
Aw, I used to be married to a guy like Harold. Big mean baby with zero EQ. Poor Daphne, just horrors all around. The format made the whole thing very urgent feeling. I really liked it🖤
Thank you very much 🙏.
Ok, someone animate this one pronto! What a great read!
Reminded me a lot of Shirley Jackson's The Lottery in the best way possible.
Thanks for sharing!
Halfway through this story, I poured myself a giant bowl of Fruity Pebbles. True story. Love that you thought outside of the box here! The script format was a fun, fresh take. 👏
Many thanks 🙏. Enjoy the corn confetti.
😜
You never disappoint, my friend. This was so damn good, and the comic format was a fresh way to set the visuals. The graphic novel played out in my mind's eye, and it was amazing. I was really impressed with how you wrote it—the format could have easily gotten in the way or felt clunky, but it was a brilliantly balanced mix of art direction and story. Superb, per usual.
Thank you very much 🙏.
The build up was slow, but worth it. By page 17, I was hooked. One thing I would do though. Her vote button should be activated. Then show a panel where the husband's vote button is not activated. As it turns out the husband swapped them so he could get rid of his wife, by not voting.
Then at the end, while she's just about to be executed, they drag the husband in, and he's screaming about how he didn't do it. But, voting for another person counts as election fraud. So he takes her place, and she goes free.
Also, I like where you were going with the ersatz food products. I want you to make them even more outrageous. Like you pull a string, and that activates an MRE heater, which puffs up the bag the meatloaf is in, and starts cooking it.
I also liked the cinematic feel of the story. The part where the two timers are eerily synchronized would make for a great shot. Using depth of field, you focus on the kitchen timer, making everything behind it blurry. Then adjust the focal point to the tv, which puts that into view and the rest becomes blurry. Follow that up with the money shot, and then move the focal point back to the table, with the timer, and the meatloaf bag which magically opens, violently releasing it's steam into the room.
I liked the way it was written. This style can also work for radio plays, something I've been itching to do.
Cool story.
Thank you very much 🙏. Those are cool ideas, maybe for Vote Control 2: Vote Harder.
This format was so fun to read in. I was able to picture everything, even with the "pop out" themes commonly associated with comics. Glad I found your work! Excited to read more!
Thank you very much 🙏.
This was an awesome story, a great mix of sci-fi, horror, and satire.
Thank you very much 🙏.
Great read. Can really feel the unease and sense of dread right the way through.
Thank you 🙏.
Love that you played with the format! Hope someone takes you up on turning this into a graphic novel--that would be sick! Thanks for joining the event, Andy! Fun story!
Thank you very much 🙏.
I have big feelings about this, Andy. So well done! Also, I'm a little scared, so thanks for that.
Thank you very much 🙏.
Loved this world. Always wanted to write something like this format, but never had the courage. You've shown me it can be done. Wonderfully innovative.
Thank you very much 🙏.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPsdjlPVaJU
Goddammit Andy, that was really fucking good.
Thank you very much 🙏. I'm rocking out now.
WHAT THE FUCK!?! This was so amazing, I was on the EDGE of my seat, JFC ANDY. I need a sip of whiskey after this. This was juicy *chefs kiss* storytelling. Yeah. yeah. So good. Still on the edge. Loved it. Every. Single. Second.
Thank you very much 🙏. I am humbled.
You should be. That's perfect pub ready piece.
If you decide to continue it into a novella let me know 👀
Excellent visual storytelling. I saw every panel.
Thank you very much. 🙏
Such an awesome idea for a story - to describe comic panels. I had this insane and rad image pop into my head for the one scene (three colors, red white black)- of a silhouetted man standing behind a chain link fence, one hand up with fingers through the chain links and then his tongue too - the tongue and finger tips blood red with drips.
Anyway, excellent story, it conjured some wild pictures
Thank you very much 🙏. I am gratified it could conjure such cool imagery.
I tried creating the image and it… did not work out lol beyond my narrow abilities